Product Review:  Jello No-Bake Real Cheesecake Dessert

An occasional series in which I evaluate a grocery store product from the busy home cook’s perspective

While strolling through the local Giant this week, this box in the baking aisle piqued my interest:

Cheesecake is a terrific indulgence and one that my dinner guests always enjoy – at least, those without dairy allergies!  I’ve tried out a number of recipes over the past few years, including a red velvet cheesecake that was a big hit with some friends and a low-carb pumpkin cheesecake that my wife and my in-laws enjoyed tremendously over Christmas.  New York-style cheesecake is a real treat, though hard to get outside the Big Apple.  A close substitute can be found locally, though:  I recently got the chance to redeem a couple of gift certificates for free slices from The Cheesecake Factory courtesy of one of my wife’s coworkers.  It felt a little odd to slap those on the cheesecake bar and make our selections, but where else can you find that much variety in a single type of dessert?

Of course, they’re also a somewhat finicky creation:  most cheesecakes need to be baked in a water bath in order to prevent cracking, but sometimes even that step isn’t enough to prevent yawning crevasses on the surface.  A springform pan is convenient for baking a cheesecake, but unless you take the time to seal the bottom with aluminum foil, you’re likely to get leakage from the water bath into the pan.  Alton Brown recommends using a tall cake pan to avoid that problem, but the only ones I have in the kitchen are the standard 1-inch pans used for a layer cakes.  In any case, baking a cheesecake can be quite an endeavor for the home cook to perfect, and after seeing this mix on the shelf, I wondered if it could be as easy as the box made it sound.

The instructions for this mix are quite simple:  Begin by melting 5 tablespoons of butter and mixing with 2 tablespoons of sugar and the bagged graham cracker crumb mix.  Press the resulting mixture into a 9-inch pie pan.  Then beat the cheesecake mix with 1-½ cups of milk for 30 seconds on low until combined, then on medium speed for 3 minutes.  Pour the resulting pudding-like substance into the crust, smooth the top, and then chill for at least an hour.  The result?

The first downside should be painfully visible:  the graham cracker crust absolutely refused to stay together when I attempted to slice and remove the dessert from the pie dish.  It stuck to the pie dish in places, which made it even more difficult, and I couldn’t get any slices out that would be restaurant quality.  My wife always forgives my plating flaws, but in this case, not even the taste could save it.

Cooking is quite often a balance of compromises between quality and convenience.  Ask any restaurant chef – they’ll tell you about how long they can hold sauces on station, for example, until the quality completely breaks down, or how they can par-cook certain dishes to make it through the rush more quickly.  With that in mind, I was more than willing to take a chance on this dessert if it was going to be, if not pastry chef-approved, a worthy substitute to satisfy the weeknight sweet tooth.

I don’t think I should have been surprised that it was more of a cheesecake-flavored pudding when all was said and done.  While smooth and creamy, it was definitely not as firm or rich as a real cheesecake would be.  The dessert had a strong vanilla flavor, but it also had a cloying aftertaste that overcame me after sampling my first bite.  A standard slice of cheesecake has a slight lemony tang to it as well, a flavor note that was missing here.  You’ll notice that the slices are somewhat vertically challenged, and I sincerely wonder if the recipe should be whipped more or if they’re cutting back on the filling mix in each box to keep prices down.

That said, though, on the whole, this was a low-risk proposition.  The Cheesecake Factory nearest my home sells slices almost $8 apiece, while this mix ran less than $5 all told (though I had sugar in the pantry and didn’t add that to the total):

Jello dessert mix:                    $2.79

Whole milk (1.5 cups):             $0.82 (pro-rated)

Butter (5 tbsp):                       $0.75 (pro-rated)

I had high hopes as I left the grocery store, but unfortunately, this mix is one that I can’t recommend to you.  If you really want the taste of cheesecake, I have to suggest a trip to your local fine dining establishment or a few hours shopping and baking to make your own.  The extra effort will be worth it.

-Guest Writer Michael (HML)

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