Over the weekend, I got a craving for chopped liver, the way my grandmother makes it. I know that chopped liver has few fans outside of the Jewish retiree community, but I grew up in Eastern Europe, so it’s a taste I acquired as a child. Having recently purchased my very first food processor, I realized that nothing was standing in my way. Nothing except my hatred of touching raw meat

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Since I was craving chopped liver, and seriously contemplating making it, you can probably guess that I’m not a vegetarian. But touching raw meat just grosses me out. I know this isn’t a terribly eloquent of putting it, but: raw meat is totally gross. I never deal with it. I either cook vegetarian dishes or buy my meat already prepared. Thinking back over the past three years, I can recall only one occasion on which raw chicken entered my kitchen.

My squeamishness with raw meat is a problem I would like to overcome. So like an acrophobe who hopes to cure his fears by visiting a skyscraper’s observation deck, I walked over to Safeway and purchased a package of raw chicken livers and an onion. I knew I would have a problem when I had trouble taking the package out of the supermarket’s meat case. It looked wet and a bloody and I just didn’t want to touch it. Hoping to minimize my contact with the package, I walked back to the produce section, got a plastic bag (which should really be provided over by the meat section as well) and used the bag to get the livers out of the case.

After getting home, I took a deep breath and dumped the package out of the plastic bag into the sink. I took another deep breath and pulled open the lid. One more deep breath and I was handling a chicken liver. It was slippery. And unlike raw chicken, which doesn’t smell like roasted or baked chicken, raw chicken livers smelled a bit like cooked chicken livers. And did I mention it was slippery? Oh, and also quite bloody. I wondered if this is how a human liver feels to a surgeon. Then I thought, “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.”

I managed to stop thinking long enough to clean off the livers and dump them into some boiling water. While the meat was cooking, I neurotically cleaned anything that came in contact with the raw chicken. Part of the grossness of raw meat is that I am convinced that I will almost definitely die of salmonella if it enters my kitchen. Chicken livers take about 15 minutes to cook, and I spent most of that time scrubbing.
My family’s recipe for chopped chicken livers includes only a few ingredients: chicken livers, fried onions and cooked carrots. I also had some white mushrooms around, so I decided to make two batches, one with onions and carrots and the other with onions and mushrooms.

Grandma’s Chopped Liver

• Half a container of raw chicken livers
• A quarter of a large white onion
• 5-6 baby carrots
• Olive oil

Grandma’s (Modified) Chopped Liver

• Half a container of raw chicken livers
• A quarter of a large white onion
• 8-10 white mushrooms
• Olive oil

Using olive oil, I fried up some onion and mushrooms while boiling a few baby carrots and the liver. Once everything was ready, I dumped the ingredients of the first batch into the food processor and used the “pulse” button until all of the ingredients were smoothly blended together. After cleaning out the food processor, I blended the second batch. The chopped liver made with carrots was softer and lighter in color while the batch with the onions and mushrooms was darker and had a rougher texture. I though that I had added too much carrot to the first batch, and assumed that it would be obvious once I tasted it, but was surprised by how unobtrusively the carrots blended into the livers. I couldn’t taste them at all. Both batches were quite delicious, although having gone through the trauma of touching the raw chicken livers took a lot of thefun out of eating the final product.

And so, my latest adventures with raw meat did not help me get over my squeamishness. This acrophobe may never set foot on an observation deck again. In fact, the experience only served to further my progression to vegetarianism. If I am this bothered by preparing a meal, should I really be forcing myself to prepare it? For me, the answer is no. Next time, I’m making a nice chickpea salad.

-NM

As I have declared Thanksgiving season officially open on my other blog, I want to start the discussion over here as well. I was so inspired by the nippy fall weather this weekend that I roasted a chicken with some acorn squash. Thanksgiving is less than a month away and I am chomping at the bit to start the cooking. While all the hoopla at Thanksgiving may be about the turkey (or pumpkin pie for some), we still need to take into account the vegetarian option. This is where Pepperidge Farm comes into play. Their puff pastry shells are the perfect receptacle for a vegetarian filling. This makes a vegetarian entree that is not just an option but something the meat eaters want to get their grubby paws on. The only problem is when the meat eaters start hogging the stuff pastry shells. Basically, all you have to do is bake the shells according to directions, pull of the top, and fill. Here are two fillings that go great in the shells:
Marsala mushroom filling
1 tablespoon butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 medium onion, sliced
1 clove of garlic, chopped
1 pound of mushrooms (can be a mixture of portobellos, cremini, button, shitake) chopped into large chunks
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/2 teaspoon rosemary
1/2 cup of marsala (or white wine)
1 tablespoon honey
1/4 cup cream or sour cream (optional)
salt and pepper to taste
Saute onion and garlic together in the butter and oil until soft and translucent add 1/2 teaspoon of salt and a shake of pepper. Add mushrooms and saute for 10 minutes. Add seasonings, herbs and honey and saute another 5 minutes. Splash the wine in and stir until the mixture has reduced and thickened (should be a gravy consistency). Add cream/sour cream for richness.
Root vegetable filling
2 tablespoons butter
1 medium onion, sliced
1 clove of garlic, chopped
3 cups root vegetable chopped into large chunks (carrots, parsnips, butternut squash, sweet potatoes etc)
1/2 teaspoon thyme
2 tablespoons flour
Pinch of nutmeg
1/2 cup of milk (or cream)
1/2 cup of gruyere cheese
Saute onion and garlic together in the butter until soft and translucent add 1/2 teaspoon of salt and a pinch of pepper. Add the root vegetablesand thyme and saute for about 10 minutes (until the vegetables have soften a bit but still hold their shape). Add the flour and nutmeg and stir until the mixture is coated with flour. Add the milk and stir thoroughly until the mixture has thickened and then add the cheese. Stir until the cheese has been incorporated into the mixture and then pour into the puff pastry shells.