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14Jun

Iota’s Food: Surprisingly Doesn’t Suck

I’m not sure whether it was unfair of me to be automatically skeptical of the cuisine provided at a venue largely known for its live music, but that was my prejudice, and I was sticking to it. Imagine my surprise when it turned out the cuisine at Iota was edible – even tasty!
We started off the night just grabbing some chicken fingers, but I thought their take rose above the usual fare. They weren’t overly reliant on their breading for flavor (though there was plenty of crunch there), and the honey/mustard sauce hit the spot, and didn’t have the weird, congealed goopiness that many other offerings have.
Later in the night, we were still hungry, and ended up a little more hardcore in our ordering. I got the prosciutto and gouda sandwich, and it was great! Gouda’s not my first choice in terms of cheeses I’d pair with the salty, cured meat, but it worked just fine, and came with a hard & hearty roll to match. Best were the fries on the side – incredibly crispy, and very well-seasoned: I noticed hints of pepper, garlic and perhaps even rye.

The place even has a cheese plate, with everything from a fig spread to a manchengo to more pungent varieties. Perhaps a stuffy companion to the Corona I was drinking, but it still hit the spot.
Not every dish is a winner; two friends ordered the shrimp puttanesca pasta, and I found the linguine limp and the sauce spicy but uninteresting. But rest assured that if you find yourself catching a band at Iota and forgetting to eat dinner beforehand, you stand a decent chance of leaving the place satisfied (unless, of course, the band totally sucks).

-MJF

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13Jun

Capital Q – Reviewed By the Five Paragraph Bitter Food Critic

Apparently the Five Paragraph Bitter Food Critic is prone to the powers of suggestion. Just as a mere reference to Mary Prankster makes me crave a Baltimore crabcake, the picture of the gooey, sauce-soaked ribs from the Chicago RibFest pointed me towards some local barbecue. Capital Q in the not-terribly-Chinese-anymore Chinatown has received all sorts of glowing press for the quality of its meats, most notably on Al Roker’s Food Network show. Since Al knows BBQ like Bo knows football, I was eager to sample owner Nick Fontana’s Austin, Texas-inspired chow. I have eaten at the `Q once before, but it was right before closing time before a holiday – I’m not going to dare judge any place in that kind of circumstance. I may be bitter, but I am fair.
And while I am no Chef Yaneev with advanced culinary training and the cool poofy hat, I am a barbecue junkie and a good man to have in a smoke pit. I’ve worked for a few barbecue places and steakhouses, and, like Al Roker, I too have traveled the country eating at barbecue places. I worked as a radio deejay and comedian for a while, and nothing beats roadside barbecue stands on the way to the next gig. Unlike Roker, though, I exercised, and didn’t wuss out and get the gastric bypass surgery.
So, a sunny Monday afternoon with barbecue and margaritas seemed like a great way to start a week, and the 3 meat platter at Capital Q was practically throwing itself at me like a drunk girl at Rumours. 3 meats, 2 sides…fair enough. I selected the ribs, the turkey and brisket, along with corn and mashed potatoes. Seventeen bucks is a little high, but, it’s cheaper than airfare to Texas.
I shoulda checked Southwest.com for a round-trip to San Antonio instead. The brisket was tasty, but incredibly overcooked. Brisket should not be gray, but more medium-rare with a noticeable smoke ring. The Q’s brisket lacked that distinctive mark of true Texas barbecue. However overcooked, it was good, and the Q’s sauce really made this meat shine. There were two turkey breasts available for the meat cutter to chop my selection from, and instead of the juicy, fresh bird, he chose the dried-out end piece that looked like it sat around under a heat lamp since last week’s lunch rush. This turkey had nothing in common with the exemplary smoked bird served at Rudy’s BBQ throughout Texas and Oklahoma.
The kicker, though, was the rib. And I don’t mean like the kicker at a casino or on a football team, but the kick-in-the-a$$. The meat cutter took a third of a rack of ribs in his tongs, and sliced off *one rib.* ONE mutha-farkin’ rib. It’s like Chris Rock and Isaac Hayes in “I’m Gonna Get You Sucka” but in reverse! The cutter then sliced off the rib’s side trim (the fatty part of the rack removed from most restaurants) from the back of the rib rack and plopped that on my plate. There is more meat on Nicole Ritchie than on a rib trim, and I had to work to get more than two bites out of the charred, substandard cut. Apparently the Texas Hospitality displayed through the generous portions found at places like Coopers, Stubb’s and The Salt Lick didn’t make it to this side of the Mississippi.

6 out of 17 Whammies! A Whammy! was awarded for each Cuervo margarita I drank, the killer potatoes, the really good sauce and the flavorful brisket. The Q lost Whammies! because of the high price, lousy cuts of meat and the fact that I damned near had to quote Chris Rock – “How much for an order of ribs? About how many ribs do you get with that?” I won’t be going back to the Q again – though I wish I had asked if they had change for a hundred…

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13Jun

Bacteria 4 U

Where oh where did American yogurt go so wrong? How come mostly all that is sold is a uber-sweet fruit flavored cup of gelatin-filled pudding or chalky-thin no-fat Dannon plain? Whatever happened to tangy, creamy, healthy, dairy fresh-tasting yogurt? Like the kind that is sold in every store in Europe?
Happily, about a year ago I suddenly became aware of Greek yogurt. Where it was before that I have no idea. I had never heard of it and then … it was everywhere, in every Whole Foods, natural foods store, Trader Joe’s and upscale grocery. It comes in full fat, 2%, and no-fat tubs, not individual serve cups, and (I swear this is not a prepaid ad) is called Fage Total Greek yogurt brand. It is supposed to be the #1 brand actually sold in Greece. There is no excuse to ever buy the thin chalky or yucky sweet stuff again. Ever.
First of all Fage yogurt still has all the active microorganisms that commercial yogurt manages to kill in the processing. You know, the stuff that originally made yogurt a (maybe THE) original Health Food. Now Dannon its promoting its (fruit filled, sugary) Activa brand – yippee, big deal. Its hook is that one of Dannon’s huge line is actually what is supported to be – yogurt that still has live acidophilus bacteria to support and maintain a healthy digestive tract.
Second, Total is VERY thick and very creamy. It is an excellent substitute for sour cream, thin cream cheese, or even mayo in many recipes. If you want sweet or fruity just add some jam or sugar (try brown – lovely!) Their website does list fruit-flavored ones but I’ve never seen any except the plain, so maybe they are sold only in Greece. I actually like the full-fat but the others are much superior to other low or no-fat yogurt. Truly delicious. Wish I knew how to say that in Greek.
BTW, Trader Joe’s does have a line of its own of Greek and also what they call Mediterranean yogurt. Not bad — but not as good as Fage Total. Sorry Joe.
This post is by bacteria activist and guest blogger MHF

Permalink Filed under: Ingredients 2 Comments
12Jun

Chicago: The city of broad shoulders and short ribs

(cross-posted from Thrown for a Loop)

Don’t tell my rabbi!
If there was justice in the world, there would be no RibFest. After all, ribs are hard to eat, messy and don’t really contain all that much meat for the amount of trouble it takes to get to it. It took centuries of poverty and slavery for this castaway cut to have been elevated into a culinary art form. Only through the crucible of great injustice could the joy of ribs have been discovered.
RibFest is an annual event in Chicago’s North Center neighborhood, centered at Irving Park and Lincoln Avenue. Thousands of people come out every to eat messy pork products in public in front of total strangers and their dogs and despite the unseasonably cold weather last weekend, it didn’t dissapoint. Here’s the rundown:
Cy’s Ribs won the competition last year, so that’s where I went for the main course: a half slab of baby backs, smothered in a Kansas CIty-style sweet and tangy sauce (pictured above). The meat was tender, if not plentiful, and the sauce was properly thick, smooth and sweet when licked off the bone, but packing a spicy finish that was crisp, but not overwhelming. Good stuff.

Probably not a local catch.
Grizzly’s Lodge’s Alligator. Served on a skewer without any sauce other than the cajun rub it was marinated with, this exotic meat tasted like very dry chicken. I’ve had alligator jerky before (so-so) but now I can die having consumed gator meat on a stick, perhaps because of it.
Homemade root beer: You can really tell the difference between soft drinks made with high fructose corn syrup and those made with real cane sugar – it’s the reason why Mexican Coke tastes so much better than its American counterpart. Although some may have considered it a bit too flat, I liked it.
Colvin’s boneless rib sandwich: One of my RibFest companions had this sandwich, which is really seperated rib meat pressed into a rib-shaped boneless pattie, slathered in sauce and served on a bun. He said he liked it, but what’s the point of going to RibFest if you’re not going to eat something messy? None of us were on first dates, so there’s no excuse.
Deep Fried Twinkies, Snickers and Milky Ways: I promised myself that I’m going to the state fair this year, where I will probably have one of these. However, I would like to be able to do so in reasonably good health and without the aid of those scooters used by people who are too fat to walk. Skipping desert was my one act of self-control the entire day.

I’m back on the sauce

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11Jun

Ask a Chef: Better Burgers, Beef, and Veal

Doug asks: Why it is that my burgers never turn out to be “restaurant quality” when I grill?
Chef Yaneev writes: This, actually, is a very common question. Generally, people who have burgers that aren’t quite what they expected tend to make one of two mistakes. They’re either making their patties too big (which is bad because by the time the middle of the patty is cooked to temperature, the outside is charred beyond belief – a good burger should be no more than three-quarters of an inch thick), or they’re using beef that is too lean (see the tip in my last post about fat).
Joanne asks: Is it necessary to sear meat in hot fat before stewing or braising it in broth or water?
Chef Yaneev writes: Many chefs have different reasons for doing this (or not doing it). One common answer is that this “locks in the juices.” Unfortunately, that’s not true. The reason that those chefs who opt to sear meat do so is because searing meat gets the outside of the meat hot enough to brown, which adds flavour. Any food cooked solely in water or broth never gets hotter than the boiling point of water (212 degrees Farenheit at sea level). Browning in fat allows the outside of the meat to reach much higher temperatures – usually 300 to 500 degrees. Those high temperatures quickly create intense flavours, rich brown colours, and crackling crusts. This is due to a chemical reaction called the Maillard reaction, where carbohydrates react chemically with amino compounds in proteins to create browning, deeper flavours, and great aromas. Personally, I always sear meat before stewing or braising it. Some chefs disagree, but hey, the flavour difference is certainly there.
Rob asks: If veal is essentially young beef, shouldn’t it be thought of as a more tender “cut” (i.e. more suitable for drier cooking methods)? Why is it that almost every recipe I’ve seen for veal involves moist cooking methods?
Chef Yaneev writes: Have you ever noticed that at a lot of restaurants, veal isn’t really done right, and winds up tasting like you’re eating a tire? That’s because they usually use drier cooking methods. Veal has a high proportion of connective tissue to muscle fiber because the young animal has not had time to put on extra weight. However, because it’s a young animal, veal’s connective tissue is more soluble than that in beef. Cooking veal with moisture (i.e. a moist cooking method) therefore makes sense because it allows that connective tissue to soften.
Got a food question you’d like me to answer? Send them into to dcfud.writers@gmail.com, and I’ll answer them in my Ask a Chef column.

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10Jun

Uncle Brutha’s Hotsauce Emporium

I recently happened upon Uncle Brutha’s Hotsauce Emporium near Eastern Market, and had a conversation with the proprietor, Brennan Proctor. Brennan was a production sound engineer for many major music videos between 1999-2003. He originally began formulating his sauce for use on hot wings. He would bring the wings to potlucks and to work. His clients started asking for the sauces. Eventually they would ask for them by the case, and he started getting new clients with the understanding that he would bring them hot sauce. Brennan perfected his sauces and won twenty awards between the two sauces.
I brought both of Brennan’s sauces, the red and the green to a meeting of DCfud writers, and the sauces were a big hit. There wasn’t an onion ring or burger at our table at Brickskellar that wasn’t covered in hot sauce, and our beloved editor actually drank some straight from the bottle. The green was the favorite with 1/2 a bottle consumed, while the red had 1/3 of a bottle consumed. The green sauce is thicker, so pours slower, leading me to believe that if the consistencies had been the same that even more of the green sauce would have been consumed. You can taste both sauces as well as the other hot sauces that Brennan sells at the hot sauce tasting bar at the store.
The green sauce is made with serrano chilies, and flavored with ginger and garlic, and is tasty without being very hot. The red is a little hotter and is made with 4 kinds of chilies. For the red sauce, habanero, red and green jalapenos, and serrano are used. I like both sauces.
Some other hot sauces that are sold at the store include “Crazy Mother Pucker’s”, “Pain is Good”, “Dave’s, Mama Africa’s” (from South Africa), “Susie’s” (from St. John), and “Marie Sharp’s” (from Belize.) There are also some with politically inspired names, like “Monica Lewinsky Sauce”, “Where’s the WMD’s?”, “Weapons of Ass Destruction”, “Saddam Insane”, and “Bomb Ladin.” There are some sauces referencing various parts of the anatomy including “Colon Cleaner”, “Ass Blaster”, “Red Rectum”, “Bayou Pecker Power”, and “Liquid Lava, It Will Pucker Your Pecker.”
Uncle Brutha’s also carries BBQ sauces, marinades, dry rubs, spices, and condiments, and is in its third month of operation. Their own 2 sauces are also available in area Wholefoods.
Uncle Brutha’s Hot Sauce Emporium
323 7th Street SE
Washington, DC 20003
Hours: T-Th 10-7, Fri. 10-8, Sat. 9-7, Sun 10-5
Closed Monday
(202) 546-FIRE

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08Jun

Adios Yuca

Erstwhile salsa dance club Yuca got the boot the other day, being evicted from their building. While it isn’t looting of Katrina-like proportions, it is rather funny to see the basic human desire to acquire plush leather couches and uncomfortable bar stools for home use extends to Northwest DC, too.
Photos courtesy of an anonymous friend who described the scene as “chaotic.” People were trying to take away furniture bigger than their cars!

Got Dibs?

Is that Stephen Page of Barenaked Ladies claiming that couch?

More chairs than Marlo…

WWJD?

Permalink Filed under: Restaurants 5 Comments
08Jun

Hot tips

Since this is my first posting for DCFüd, what better way to start than a post about one of my true loves in life: barbecue. Of course, now that summer is pretty much here, people will be firing up the grills and enjoying that great summer flavour. As a professional chef I have opportunity to see some of the best and worst of barbecue ideas, so I thought I’d post some tips here.
Use The Right Heat For The Job. There are two types of heat for food on a grill – direct and indirect. With direct heat, you spread your coals out evenly (or cook directly over the burner on a gas grill), and cook directly over the hot coals. This works very well for burgers, hot dogs, and items that don’t cook for all that long. With indirect heat, you pile your coals to one or both sides of the grill, and leave the middle empty (or switch the side burners on, and leave the middle off) or with a pan for drippings. You’d then put your food in the middle, so the heat is more even. This works for foods like chicken, that typically cook for longer.
Fat Is Good. While most health-care professionals will advise you to limit your fat intake, when you’re barbecuing, you need to choose meats that have good marbling. Fat will keep the meat moist over the high heat, which will prevent it from drying out (chicken and/or turkey should always be grilled with the skin on – you can always take it off before eating it). When grilling any kind of meat with a fat cap, always start the grilling fat side up. Turn it over about three-fourths of the way through.
Avoid Excessive Flipping. Give your food time to cook, and don’t be worried about it. This is especially true for burgers and steaks, which should only be flipped once. Any more than that, and you lose the juices in the meat. If you’re using the right heat method, you won’t need to flip very often.
Try New Things. Try grilling some fish, or vegetables. Yes, even the vegetables you don’t like take on a whole different flavour when they’re grilled, so why not try some veggie kebabs? For a really nice touch, grill some fresh fruit (not for very long, mind you, but just enough to accent the natural sweetness of the fruit). That works for everything except watermelon (and to eat watermelon any way other than the normal way is just downright un-American if you ask me).
This post is by Guest Blogger Yaneev. Thanks, mister!

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08Jun

Reluctant health, day 10

Today’s Haiku:
I dreamed of cupcakes
Covered in chocolate sprinkles.
My pillow’s missing
Today’s Lunch spot:
Jonathan’s Gourmet Deli – This place takes their salads very seriously.
Today’s recipe: Spicy Potato Skins
4 large potatoes
1/4 cup olive oil
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1-1/2 teaspoons chili powder
1-1/2 teaspoons curry powder
1-1/2 teaspoons ground coriander seed
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
Bake the potatoes for 1 hour. Slice the potatoes in half lengthwise, and let them cool for 10 minutes. Scoop out most of the insides, leaving about 1/4 inch of squish against the potato skin. Cut each potato into three pieces and brush with olive oil. Combine the salt and the spices and sprinkle the mixture over the potatoes. Bake the potato skins for 15 minutes or until they are crispy and brown.

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07Jun

Reluctant Health, Day 9

Today’s Haiku:
Today I’ll eat lite
Just one burger and some fries
before breakfast time
Today’s Lunch spot:
Thyme Square in Bethesda– Service can be a little (really) slow but it’s about worth it for the local produce and organic pizzas and chicken and things.
Today’s recipe: Chilled Minted Cucumber Honeydew Soup
Alright, this is just turning into a series on cold soup. bear with me here.
1 cucumber
2 Cups honeydew melon
8 oz plain non-fat yogurt
1/4 cup mint leaves
2 Tablespoon fresh lime juice
Cut cucumber into 1-inch pieces. Combine cucumber, honeydew, yogurt, mint leaves and juice. Puree mixture for 30 seconds, and season with salt and pepper. Cover and Chill at least 2 hours, garnish with mint.

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