The greatest minds in human history have sought to explain love. Philosophers have tried to rationalize it. Politicians have tried to legislate it. Scientists have tried to quantify it. There’s chemistry in the lab, but seldom holds up in field tests. We love non-humans – pets, for example, or cuddly baby pandas. For the masses that shuffle off to uninspiring jobs and lives, we openly admit love for our equally lifeless iPods, a particular book we’re reading, or an outfit we’re wearing. There’s even love for a moment, such as sunset or the feeling of a cool rain on a warm day. Though with all these various categories of love, is it therefore possible to love a city? For after all, what really is a city but merely a collection of buildings, citizens, location and infrastructure? Does admiration for the beauty of the Golden Gate Bridge or the majesty of the Principal Financial Group’s headquarters lend itself to love? Is love the quality that makes being a citizen of a certain city a source of pride for some? New Yorkers boast about the most minute of the Big Apple’s attributes routinely. Perhaps it’s more of an emotional response to a city’s individual culture. Miami’s party scene. Boston’s sports fans. Chicago’s pizza. Denver’s outdoor lifestyle. These traits generate affection for an area.
If that’s the case, then I love Austin, Texas. I’m not afraid to admit it. I would commit to Austin. 35 years of bachelorhood would be an afterthought if I could come home to a hot piece of urban ass like Austin every night. Austin is exactly what it appears to be – no games, no bull. No emotional baggage left over from its last relationship. Now, Austin has lived. It’s stayed out too late a few times; it’s experimented with substances; it’s flirted with the athletes. It’s gone out with the rich boys. It’s dated the interesting quirky guys. Through it all, Austin is open, ready, and not afraid to play. Just like every cliche’ ad on Match.com, Austin is comfortable in a dress or in blue jeans, works hard AND plays hard, and loves to laugh. And, like any good spouse, Austin is no joke in the kitchen, especially when it comes to barbecue, my favorite food group.
The capital of Texas has a very diverse dining scene, and I wasn’t concerned about any of it. See, my love of good. Texas barbecue is tangible and undeniable, and Austin is the center of that world. Austin has barbecue places like D.C. has Starbucks and L.A. has failed actors who work at Starbucks. However, the majority of Austin’s `cue is actually good and talented, and moderately priced.
I just got back from a week at the SXSW festival in Austin, where pretty much every blogger, music journalist and indie rock band in the world was as well. Had the bomb gone off, Hannah Montana and the remaining Idolettes would have been the only recording artists left in America. The music fest was the number one reason I was there, but I can’t deny the allure of slow-roasted critter on every block. Ribs, brisket, turkey breast, hot links – various types of marinades and spices. All of it designed to make your taste buds publicly renounce any barbecue born east of the Mississippi.
“But Five,” if you’ve made it through my ramblings this far, you’re asking, “which place should I go to if I find myself hungry and in Austin?” The answer is “depends on your mood.” Are you in downtown and are looking for some good blues music, fantastic sausage and a killer apple crisp? Then go to Stubb’s and tell Matisyahu “hello.” If you’re poking around Hippie Hollow by Lake Travis, and get hungry after Lance Armstrong dusted you on his training ride, then check out Smokey J’s and enjoy the taste of their sweeter sauce mingling with their brisket and jerky. What if you’re south of town and hungrier than Pac-Man? Then go to The Salt Lick in nearby Driftwood and go for the all-you-can-eat option. But, what if you just want to eat the best ribs in town? Then go to Rudy’s. There are several locations in Austin, nearby Round Rock and along I-35 down to San Antonio. Perfectly smoked with a succulent spicy crust – just make sure you save room for their equally delicious turkey. And if that’s not enough barbecue for you, then you’re either Steve Raichlen or you need your thyroid checked.
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Austin earns 13 Whammies! out of 15 potential Whammies! One Whammy! was awarded for each of the following categories – food, cost of living, nightlife, affordable real estate, laid back attitude, bicycle friendliness, environmental sensitivity, decent job market, number of Rudy’s locations in the immediate area (seriously, that stuff is crack) and incredibly cool people. The only Whammies! not earned were for the ungodly amount of hipsters (what is it about people who love indie rock and their inability to dress themselves?) and that the Fry’s Electronics there is not nearly as cool as the ones in Southern California. But I’m willing to work with that.
-RAY
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