This weekend marked the 34th anniversary of my expulsion from my mother’s womb. Friday and Saturday night were set aside for my friends; Sunday was reserved for my mom and uncle, neither one of whom can do shots like my buddy Jeff at the Science Club. My family took me to an anonymous suburban chain restaurant. No sooner did we enter when all the servers gathered together, began clapping semi-rhythmically, and sang their restaurants’ version of “Happy Birthday” to a large group gathered for a child’s birthday. I shuddered in the same way that I shuddered when I watched the movie Saw – I knew it was fake, but I was scared anyway. My uncle, never an example of tact, tells our server at the anonymous suburban chain restaurant that it was my birthday, and asked what treat I’d get. The young lady, barely college-aged, went into some script I’m sure all the servers there had to memorize, asking me “So, how old are you on your big birthday, big guy?”
Lady, I’m 34 frickin’ years old. I’ve been able to drink legally for since you were in kindergarten. My insurance rates don’t get any lower, and I’ve been able to rent a car without a parent’s signature for nearly a decade. My next “big birthday” doesn’t come for another 21 years when I’ll be able to get cheaper coffee at participating McDonald’s.
I hate that fake birthday singing in restaurants. I was in kindergarten when the old Farrell’s ice cream parlor in Tyson’s Corner had a bunch of singing servers, fireworks, a possessed player-piano and circus sound effects go all Britney Spears-crazy for kids’ birthdays. I watched a poor little 3 year-old soil her new dress in fright and embarrassment on her birthday. I felt so bad for that little girl, and while I knew nothing of post-traumatic stress syndrome at the time, I knew a girl who’d need therapy when I saw one. Therefore, on my list of Top Three Annoyances in Restaurants, it ranks up there with Nextel phones going off and screaming, sugared-out kids with no parental supervision. For the record, “food poisoning” and “bad food” would be #4 and #5, respectively. I can understand why Chuck E. Cheese does it, and talented singing is part of Mimi’s in DuPont’s charm. But when I was a server, bartender and ultimately manager, my one consistent question during job interviews was “is this a restaurant that sings for birthdays?” If so, I moved on. A free dessert or a small discount is one thing; making a public spectacle and whittling down my dignity is quite another.
Is it just me? Do people actually go to anonymous suburban chain restaurants specifically for the birthday singing? What are they thinking? “Nothing reasserts my status in the universe than having a motley group comprised of 19 year-old single moms too naive to use birth control, 21-year-old college students worried about midterms, jailbait hostesses wearing slutty dresses that’d make Lil’ Kim blush and table bussers who aren’t 100% sure of the song or the language, sing a corporate version of ‘Happy Birthday’ that really doesn’t sound like the real song and includes more hand-clapping and some sort of embedded advertisement to me in an anonymous suburban chain restaurant decorated to resemble either a yard sale gone mad or a Gulf Coast beach because I’m too lazy to actually travel to a real yard sale gone mad or a Gulf Coast beach and receiving a complimentary calorie-laden dessert?” It’s about the best I can come up with…unless these are the same people who delight in camping out for tickets for the inevitable “American Idol All-Stars” tour because they really felt their phone calls made a difference whether or not that plucky young hillbilly from Kinhump, Tennessee, with the 36D’s and the 36 IQ got propelled into the Top 8.
By appealing to her logic – spending time singing that song to me wastes valuable minutes better spent at other higher-maintenance tables and thereby increasing whatever tips the generally-weaker-tipping-Sunday afternoon crowd offers – I was able to ward off her underpaid cult of clappers. And, given the mega-portions of food the anonymous chain restaurant served, there was no need for the complimentary calorie-laden dessert. Truthfully, I think she enjoyed not singing almost as much as I did. I know it was only one restaurant on one day, a small victory, but a victory nonetheless for those of us who like to dine in relative peace and anonymity.
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Normally I assign Whammy! points in this space, but the anonymous suburban chain restaurant is exactly what it is, the food is exactly what can be found at any other anonymous suburban chain restaurant, and the food tasted exactly what you’d expect from an anonymous suburban chain restaurant. No Whammy! was earned; no Whammy! will be given.
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07Mar
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06Mar
This Thursday, March 8th, is Food and Friend’s Dining Out for Life night. Food & Friends provides no-cost home-delivered meals and groceries to local residents living with HIV/AIDS, cancer, and other illnesses.
Participating restaurants will contribute between 25% and 100% of their sales for the evening to Food and Friends.
This is a fantastic opportunity to eat out at some fantastic restaurants and give back to the local community at the same time. There are about 150 participating restaurants (we can’t link to the full list, but you can find it by clicking Participating Restaurants on the site here.)
And you don’t have to spend a lot to help out. While some of DC’s pricier restaurants are on the list, local inexpensive favorites like Teaism, Thaiphoon, and Hard Times Cafe are participating, too.
If you’re looking for a place, consider checking out some of the standard DCFUD favorites:- Black’s Bar and Kitchen
- Corduroy
- Hank’s Oyster Bar
- Perry’s
- Pizzeria Paradiso
- Sushi Ko
- Tabard Inn
- Teaism
- Tonic Restaurant & Bar
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02Mar
If you go by M’Dawg (Haute Dogs) in Adams Morgan, you might see a shaggy brown dog tied outside. That’s my dog, Otter, and he’ll be spending a lot of time outside the new gourmet hot dog place in the near future, because I’ll sure be spending a lot of time in it.
The much-anticipated eatery is as relaxed and fun as you’d expect the sister restaurant to Amsterdam Falafel to be, with a short but varied menu that includes a garlic sausage, a corn dog, an andouille, a beef dog wrapped in bacon, and the classic DC half-smoke, among others. Most of the menu is in the $4-7 range (with the exception being the Kobe: a $20 kobe beef dog), and you can get them “downtown” style with ketchups and schmancy mustards, or “uptown” with a wide range of unexpected toppings for a buck more. Don’t count on getting dinner for $4-7, though, as with most hot dogs, one is not enough.
I highly recommend the “Glove” (the aforementioned beef dog wrapped in bacon) with apricot chutney and fresh tomatoes, and the half-smoke with bacon crumbles, bleu cheese, and onions. Less impressive was the “Brokeback” corndog, which despite its excellent name is just an ordinary corndog. It’s fine, but does not live up to its hot dog brethren. I also have to say, I do not understand the mad love people have for the french fries, the same as at Amsterdam Falafel.
At least three more trips are necessary before I can say with confidence that I have tried all the best hot dogs that DC has to offer, so my real dog will get to go on a lot of walks down to M’Dawg in the next few weeks. If you see him, say hi–he’s friendly, and don’t worry if he seems sad. He’s just whining because he wants a half-smoke. -
23Feb
I’ve been in Atlanta almost seven months now, but my grad student status has severely limited my ‘extramural’ culinary adventures. So I made a pact with myself at the beginning of this semester that I would work harder at eating good food (as opposed to pizza and burgers, all the time) when I go out. the trick is finding places I can kinda-sorta-maybe-once-in-a-while afford.
Early in my tenure here, I discoveredAprès Diem , and have been going there pretty frequently (OK, like once or twice a month) for late-evening drinks and snacks. The atmosphere is much trendier than I’d usually tolerate, with its colored ‘mood’ lighting and live-dj-techno/house soundtrack, not to mention the almost universally gorgeous staff.* But somehow, Après Diem manages to remain comfortable and easygoing, and it works for me.
Like I said, I’ve mostly been there for drinks and/or snacks, midway through an evening’s carousing. The drinks are good and, if you stay away from the sugar-tinis, not too expensive; the wine list is small but nicely varied, ditto for beers. The appetizers/snacks menu is nice; I really like the baba ghanouj, the hummus plate, and have been made very happy on more than one “last stop before home” by the brie and baguette. The espresso and coffee are good too, and served late enough that Après Diem also makes a good last-stop spot to wait off those drinks before driving home (this is the thing about Atlanta: you have to drive. Everywhere. All the time. No matter what.).
Anyways, I liked snacking there enough that I decided to try dinner there, and one night after a play a friend and I decided to do so. Sadly, the kitchen closes at midnight, and we got there at 11:58, so it was put off.
Fresh off a stressful week, another friend and I decided to finally eat dinner at Après Diem, at a reasonable dinner hour (around 8, as opposed to around midnight). We were seated by a lovely blond woman of ultimately indeterminate – but I’m pretty sure north English – accent, who was also our server. Her only real gaffe of the evening was immediate: she was quick to offer drinks, even before we had a chance to look at the list, and it wasn’t until she had come back again and taken our order that she brought water. No matter, we had beer!
My companion ordered the roasted portobello sandwich, and I the Asian-style tuna. I should mention that my meal came with an appetizer salad, and his did not, but that this is not made particularly clear on the printed menu. Either way, the salad was actually quite tasty (I’m not sure what the dressing was, but I liked it!), and would have been plenty to share but for my companion’s aversion to green vegetables.
The portobello sandwich looked, and was reported to be, really good. Serving sandwiches on focaccia still worries me sometimes – I feel like it’s too easy for the bread to overwhelm its contents – but my companion reports that it was really what made this dish great. The fillings’ mix of flavors, and their strength, clearly balanced well with the thick bread, which also has the advantage of not getting so soggy with all that veggie goodness inside.
I ordered my tuna seared (it always makes me laugh a bit when the menu says “seared tuna” and then they ask you how you want it cooked), and it came out on a very pretty plate with lightly sautéed halved carrots, mini-zucchinis, and grape tomatoes, topped with the ‘Asian-style’ sauce and pickled ginger. The flavor was really good, and the veggies perfect, but the fish itself was a bit tough. Tasty, but just not the best tuna I’ve had, which surprised me – it was listed as “sashimi grade” on the menu.
It’s no shock that our two cheques came out rather differently – my companion’s sandwich was $8 and my tuna $20 (plus a couple of beers each), totaling about $50, plus tip. Not bad at all by normal standards, but we’re grad students. We’ll have to await another special occasion (since lotto jackpots are especially unlikely for statisticians-in-training who can’t bring themselves to buy tickets) to return for dinner, but I do plan to do so when the moment arises.
All in all, Après Diem makes a good dinner spot, but its real strength lies as a cool place for drinks and snacks, as the more relaxed portion of an evening out in Midtown.
* Seriously. If the employees,’ uhm, assets are how you’re selling your place, I’m generally gonna be wary. Après Diem manages to pull it off.
Après Diem
931 Monroe Drive (next to the Midtown Art Theater),
Atlanta, Georgia 30308
404.872.3333 -
22Feb
Purchase anything – even a soda- at Hard Times Cafe today and you get a free bowl of chili. You can even get cheese, beans, and onions in it for no extra charge. I verified this with the Clarendon location.
Thanks for Romel at meetin.org for the catch. 🙂
Hard Times Cafe (Clarendon)
3028 Wilson Blvd
Arlington, VA 22201
703 528 2233
http://www.hardtimes.com -
18Feb
Ok…who else is excited about this, Busboys & Poets and about Cakelove opening in Shirlington? This will happen in the late spring.
Busboys & Poets is a great place to hangout and I have had good desserts and appetizers there, and Cakelove has good eclairs and ginger scones. Ok…ok…if you let the cupcakes get to room temperature…they are decent – regardless of my past declarations. Yes, really. 🙂 Cakelove has been growing on me recently. -
25Jan
(The White House near the White House)
I’ve eaten at Casa Blanca at Vermont Avenue and K Street several times. The restaurant serves both Mexican and Peruvian cuisines. I have ordered from the Peruvian menu each time, although my friend raved about the enchiladas. I will try the enchiladas or burritos on my next visit. I have also seen diners happily digging into chips and an interesting looking salsa, so that is something else I may order next time around.
I’ve tried the arroz con pollo ($6.25), the chicharron con yucca ($6.95), and the pollo saltado ($7.95). The arroz con pollo consisted of chicken and rice with salad. The chicharron consisted of fried chunks of pork with fried yucca. Pollo saltado included chunks of chicken, red onions and tomatoes, and is served with French fries and rice. Their salads have a tangy vinagrette-like dressing.
This restaurant serves fresh and tasty food at inexpensive prices. It is a good option for either dining in or takeout. The last time I was there, which was Friday around 1pm, the restaurant was packed, so you may want to the place after the lunch rush. They have some sort of happy hour in the evening.
The first picture is of the the chicharron con yuca, while the second is of my friend’s enchiladas. When I saw the enchiladas, I almost ordered a second lunch – like a Hobbit. 🙂
My only complaint is that the empanadas were not good. I think they microwaved them to heat them up, destroying the texture.
A slightly outdated version of Casa Blanca’s menu is available at http://washingtondc.menupages.com.
Casa Blanca
1014 Vermont Ave., NW
Washington, DC 20005
202 393-4430 -
24Jan
Apply the code SUPER to receive 60% off at Restaurant.com for gift certificates valid at over 7,000 participating restaurants. They have $25 gift certificates available for $4 after coupon. Some restrictions apply. Offer expires 1/31/2007.
This does not only apply to DC Area restaurants, and I have used them in various cities. Locally, I have used Restaurant.com’s certificates for Matsutake and The Front Page, although the former is currently out of stock. I see that they have certificates available for Frontpage ($25 for Ballston, $10 for DC), Meskarem ($10), Ben’s Chili Bowl ($10), The Charley Horse Grill ($25), Alero ($25), etc.
Just look at the restrictions very carefully because there may be party size requirements, the certificates may not be valid certain times or days, etc.
-jay -
15Jan
As “locals”, we always try to give help our out-of-town guests move beyond the typical White House/Monuments/Museums experience. And since we like food, somehow we always end up taking them to our favorite restaurants and bars. And given that we find ourselves taking guests to the same place, over and over again, we figured we’re present to you our “going out with guests” guides, by neighborhood, starting with our most frequent, the U Street Corridor.
DCFUD’s Guide to Where to Take Guests in the U Street Area
Dinner
Creme Cafe (1322 U Street NW / 202-234-1884)
Still some of the most creative and tasty food in the D.C. area. This southern-inspired restaurant is among our currents favorite and never fails to be a hit with out-of-towners. Get the pork and beans.
[DCFUD Review – Washington Post Review]
Dessert
Love Cafe (1501 U Street NW / 202-265-9800)
While opinions of Cakelove cupcakes vary widely, it’s still a D.C. institution and a great place to get dessert and coffee in the U Street area.
[Washington Post Review]
Post-Dinner Drinks
Cafe Saint-Ex (1847 14th Street NW / 202-265-7839)
With good drinks, a nice bar, and a downstairs bar/lounge which frequently hosts great DJs, it’s hard to top Saint Ex for a nice place to chill — or dance the rest of the night away.
[Washington Post Review]
Late Night Munchies
Ben’s Chili Bowl (1213 U Street, N.W. / 202-667-0909)
Open Friday and Saturday nights until 4 a.m., Ben’s epitomizes U Street. Around since the late 1950s, Ben’s serves some of the best chili half-smokes in the world. Be prepared for a long line — but have no fear, it moves fast. No one should be allowed to leave D.C. without visiting Ben’s.
[Washington Post Review] -
14Jan
It was no surprise that Taberna Del Alabardero would have a delicious menu for Restaurant Week. The place is synonymous with quality and hospitality on both sides of the Atlantic. Despite the reviews I’ve read, I still wasn’t prepared for the majesty of the place, nearly dwarfing the quality of the food.It would be wise for all interior decorators and designers to study the Taberna, to show how a restaurant can “make and entrance” like a movie star. The small, crowded bar area was full of people waiting for their tables or content to munch on tapas. That small waiting area quickly gives way to glorious dining chambers, featuring high ceilings, bold red paint and soft lighting. Tables are spaced far enough apart to lend a sense of privacy, and the design allows for plenty of background noise that never intrudes. The walls are decorated with various paintings, a whimsical hat decoration frames the coat check closet; classic prints from the Old World, and lend to the illusion that the next two hours will be spent in the south of Spain, not two blocks from the White House.
My friends at the table remarked at the quality of the duck mixed in with their field greens. Duck can be a tricky bird to serve, as it can go from soft and flaky to overcooked and gamey with little warning, but the light salt taste and gentle texture gave good contrast to the salad. The white bean soup was complemented with pieces of quail and slab bacon, and I was tempted to order another bowl or three. The mushroom sauce topping the salmon drew raves, while the peppered flank and potatoes were seasoned perfectly. My only complaint was that I should have ordered the white and dark chocolate mousse with almond whisky sponge cake – yeah, I gained a pound just writing that. I ordered the flan, and while it was certainly acceptable, the mousse was clearly the star.
After such a fine meal, Chef Santi Zabaleta’s tasting menu looks a lot like my upcoming birthday gift from myself to myself…and it’s a lot more affordable than an iPhone!
-RAY
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Taberna Del Alabardero
1776 I Street NW
Washington DC 20006
202-429-2200
