Most of the DCFÜD crew went out last night for an evening of medical emergencies, unbearable heat and violating open-container laws. It was like July… in April.
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| “Would you like some onions with your HUMAN LIVER?” |
First, amg walked into Cap Lounge on the Hill with a bag full of vaccines that he had to keep cold lest they spoil. Treating it like a human organ, we politiely asked for a Hefeweizen (horray for being a yuppie) and a bowl of ice. Jokes about the need to get loaded before braving 395 traffic on the way to a hospital aside, we had a medical emergency. If the desire to drink counts as a medical emergency
The extremely accomodating (and extremely Irish) server Gerry at the Cap brought a bowl of ice and some napkins to keep amg and zaf’s anti-typhoid vaccines cool, and later even agreed to store the medicine in the bar’s refrigerator. This was a good thing, as the Cap Lounge was experiencing a climate-control malfunction which caused overwhelming heat to blast from the ceiling vents. It was like happy hour in a tandoori oven – not pleasant.
Several men who looked like they could speak authouritatively about things like ducts and vents came around to tinker with the thermostat, each announcing that the problem had been solved. It only got hotter. When we protested the furnace-like state, the bar manager offered free shots if we stuck it out until the thermometer registered 100 degrees.
As it turns out, the thermometer didn’t display more than two digits, but when it finally rolled over to “00”, the manager honored his promise and brought a round of whiskey, although not without hassling the three Wilson SHS graduates at the table (snh, wrc and ejg if you must know) about their D.C.P.S. high school.
I think the line was, “I’m from Ward 8, I know what I’m talking about.”
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| No free drinks | Free drinks |
We eased on down the road to Zack’s, where pitchers of Miller Lite were consumed and some billiards were shot. Zack’s has a decent jukebox, with Stones, Hendrix, John Lee Hooker, Jimmy Cliff and various Motown classics perfect for drinking pisswater in the dark.
Our three exuberant ladies, filled with the energy of youth and many full mugs of cheap beer, decided that while Zack’s doesn’t have an outdoor patio, that should serve as no hinderance to taking a few beers outside and dancing in the rain on Pennsylvania Avenue.
Thirty seconds later, the bartender went to the door and asked them to kindly come back inside the bar, explaining how a liqour license is a good thing for a bar to have.
We went home, secure from typhoid and sobriety.
-Written by snh, edited and crossposted by DCSOB-er rj3
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